A Message to Cat Deeley

24 Aug

My dear Cat,

First, let me say, you are amazing. You are the best host ever. And I really and truly mean that. But Cat. My dear, darling Cat. Please, for the love of God, just start saying judges again. I BEG you. It was cute for like two seconds to have the audience say judges instead of you. And then the moment was gone. It was gone, Cat. And yet you didn’t let it go! I get it, you can’t say judges right. I don’t care. I have noticed that in the last couple of weeks you have stopped pausing as long after “Please welcome your…” and have said judges along with everyone else in a more noticeable way. You are moving in the right direction! Now move all the way over there and just say the sentence. No pausing. No nothing. Because Cat, the schtick is wearing thing. It’s past the point of being annoying. And I don’t want anything about you to be annoying! So stop it. Now.

With love and gratitude,



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