Gossip Girl: Beauty and the Feast

3 Oct

Ok, I’m sorry, I know this happened at the end of the episode but this needs to be said before anything else: Louis’ sister made out with a PRIEST. After scheming with him to transfer succession from Louis to her. WHILE HE WAS WEARING HIS PRIEST COLLAR OH IT WAS SO WRONG. And yet, somehow, also awesome. Oh, Gossip Girl. Never change. But anyway, the rest of the episode! Can someone please explain to me why Charlie/Ivy (…Chivy?) is an idiot? She had a perfectly good out when Serena was all, ‘is this your way of telling me that you don’t want to live together?’ when Chivy said that she didn’t have enough in her bank account for a deposit on an apartment. You know what you say to that, when you are an aspiring actress who was hired to pretend to be someone’s dead (?) cousin and the plot comes to a close and you move to LA with your boyfriend and suddenly your fake cousin shows up and wants to live together? You say, yes, yes that is my way of telling you I don’t want to live together. Oh, Chivy. Now, she’s broken up with her boyfriend (who I guess she didn’t care all that much about) and is moving to New York with Serena to pretend to be Charlie again. I..I don’t…oh whatever. Fine. Be like that, Chivy. In other news, Nate is back to sleeping with people who are way too old for him (sorry, Elizabeth Hurley, but it’s really, really true), and Chuck is numb to all feeling after the traumatic experience of letting Blair go and so is paying people to beat him up, despite a broken rib (that he can’t feel) that could become life threatening, and ignores all attempts to make him stop, until on Dan’s second attempt to stop him, he’s basically like oh, whatever, fine. Well that was…the opposite of dramatic. My favorite line of the night came out of the Dan/Chuck interaction though—after Chuck tells him how he can’t feel anything, Dan goes, “I could tickle you…” Oh Dan. You adorable ball of wit. And speaking of Dan and adorable, I just about died from that last scene with Dan and Blair. Sure, she was freaking out about the fact that her plans to marry Louis might be ruined by the fact that her baby (oh yeah, she’s definitely preggers) may be Chuck’s, but one cannot watch that scene without feeling like there is hope for Dan and Blair left. She came to him voluntarily to talk! And she got all teary! And he told her if she lost it all she’d still have him! And they snuggled and he kissed her head! I don’t care what anyone says (including my past self, since I used to be dead set against the idea of the two of them together), I love them and they are better than Chuck and Blair. Dan would never trade her for a hotel, for one thing (which brings me back to my original sentiment: oh Gossip Girl. Never change). So I’m keeping hope alive! And I really want to know what is in the last chapter of his book that so surprised Rufus last week. But for now, I will just have to suffer through the only thing I don’t like about television: the week-long wait between each episode.

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