Gossip Girl: The Kids Stay in the Picture

23 Apr

Ok, so I’ve been so busy lately that I just got the chance to watch this episode yesterday. And even though it aired almost a week ago, I am still writing about it because I Have Thoughts.

Ok, I need to get this out of the way before anything else: How is a kiss that makes Blair realize she wants to be with Chuck “life changing”? That’s kind of the course Blair’s life was already on. It would REALLY be life changing if it made her realize she wanted to be with DAN. Which I am holding out hope will still happen (she was a lot nicer to him than usual tonight and he is clearly smitten…)! Not just because they’re unexpectedly adorable and awesome but also because if she gets back with Chuck I will not be a happy camper. I used to love them! I used to even like Chuck (when I ignored his early in the series behavior)! But the writers went and ruined it and him and now he’s just some creepy emotionally abusive 19 year old who acts like he’s 50. Speaking of, really Chuck? Asking Serena what mistake you could have made to make Blair cut you off? How about, I don’t know, trading her to your uncle for a hotel? And then giving her an ultimatum and, when she didn’t show up because she was running late, instead of just calling her or something like a normal person, sleeping with Jenny Humphrey? And then disappearing and coming back with a new girlfriend? And then getting another new girlfriend? And generally not thinking about Blair at all recently until right now? Ah, true love. Anyway now that Louis showed up again hopefully first she’ll ditch Chuck for him and then she’ll ditch him for Dan! Yay Dan!

Some other stuff also happened in this episode, like Lily waiting to find out her sentence for sending Ben to jail, Serena’s aunt and cousin making an appearance, the cousin deciding to stay for awhile (which, ps Lily, if your sister tells you that her kid had to leave college a few months ago and needs to be watched very closely, it MIGHT be a good idea to ask for more information), Raina deciding to look for her dead mom that her dad told her abandoned her because he’s a messed up human being, Nate just kind of being there, and Vanessa coming back into town to use her powers of eavesdropping to find out about Dan and Blair’s kiss and tell Serena about it. Which is kind of now all Vanessa ever does, though why she keeps involving herself in these people’s lives I will never understand. Doesn’t she kind of hate all of them? Also: Gossip Girl’s voiceovers have seriously gotten out of control. “It looks like instead of being on the pages, you’re about to have the book thrown at you?” “They say that fortune favors the bold. But watch out for the bold-faced lies that come with fortune’s favors?” Oh, Gossip Girl. I think it’s time for you to take a break.


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