Religious Bigotry on the Prairie

9 Apr

This week was a barren week for TV. Almost everything’s in repeats (seriously, when did every network start taking April off?), and I was so freakishly busy the whole week that I haven’t had time to watch any of the shows that were still on. But a couple of days ago, I wanted to see what was in my DVR that I could half pay attention to while I worked on my final project for infographics. And this was the first thing I heard when the TV turned on: “I can’t have a grandchild that’s a JEW!” As a Jew, I was obviously very curious as to what the heck this was. I saw it was on the hallmark channel and my confusion increased. Was it a hallmark movie about an anti-semite seeing the error of her ways? Well, almost: it was an episode of Little House on the Prairie. Turns out Nellie had married a Jewish guy and was pregnant, and his parents wanted the kid to be Jewish and her parents wanted him/her to be Christian. And there was lots of yelling and arguing and anti-semitic ranting and really terrible acting before finally all the parents sat down together and decided that if the kid was a boy, he’d be Jewish, and if she was a girl, she’d be Christian. And then they held hands and laughed. I am not making this up. I am also not making this up: after that conversation, there was a scene of Nellie and her husband in bed laughing and laughing over how ridiculous the plan was. Nellie said they could give their daughter a church wedding and her husband said they could have a Bar Mitzvah for their son. Then they had this exchange: Nellie: “I don’t even know what that is!” Husband: “You’ll learn!” Both: “HAHAHAHAHAHA!” Me: “WTF”

Anyway, I think we can all guess how the episode turned out: yes, she had twins. A Jew and a Christian! They’re going to be quite the interesting family…I guess Nellie will teach the girl all about Jesus and then her husband will pull the son aside and tell him none of it’s true but they can’t tell the Christian twin. Fun times.

This episode also did not feature Laura at all, which was weird. I may have to make a new version of my That 70s Show “If Donna’s hair is blonde, change the channel” rule: “If Laura isn’t there, change the channel.” Though she was in the next episode (yes, I got sucked into the marathon) and it still wasn’t that good. So maybe that rule should just be “Don’t watch Little House expecting anything good.” I can’t believe I’ve outgrown Little House. I feel so old.


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