XOXO, Gossip Girl

25 Jan

Gossip Girl is an incredibly ridiculous show. Every season, heck, every week, it gets more and more crazy. I spend most of each episode rolling my eyes. But I can’t stop watching. It’s too addictive. It’s bad in the most delightful way. So of course, when it came back last night, I watched. I even had a watch party! And it was just as ridiculous as ever. Basic plot run down: Serena and Dan decided not to date. Again. Chuck and Serena schemed to bring down Lily but their plan was foiled when Serena accidentally gave Dan’s resume to a reporter at a party instead of the document that Lily signed as Serena to put Ben in jail. But it turns out that Lily was actually trying to fix things and got Ben released from jail, so yay! She isn’t completely evil after all. But before Serena knew that Ben got released, she went to visit him and then ran into him on her way out, because all former convicts LOVE to hang around the place where they’ve been incarcerated for years. Then they decided to have a little dinner date, because another thing former convicts love is hanging out with the girl whose mother got them put in jail because of false claims that they slept with that girl. The other Van Der Woodsen drama was not resolved so “happily”: the Chuck/Serena/Lily argument at the party made the buyer of Bass Industries back out of the deal. Instead it sold to Chuck’s father’s former friend who now has a very large grudge (against a dead man..harsh), so, yeah..I’m sure that will end well. Nate, poor, dumb Nate, just sort of sat around being mad at his Dad for not being more proactive about finding a post-prison job. But it’s ok, because turns out the aforementioned Bass enemy is totally cool with hiring a guy convicted of embezzlement who also happens to be a (former) cocaine addict to run his finances. Because that’s always super smart.  Oh, and Blair decided that she’s going to be the next Anna Wintour. That I actually find believable.

Also in this episode, it became very clear that by the end of the season, Blair and Dan are going to be together. I should have seen it coming earlier: after all, Blair/Dan is one of the only relationship combinations that the main characters have not been in.

To illustrate the incestuous nature of the show (sometimes semi-literally! Ahem, DAN/SERENA), I made this little chart of all of the relationship circles in Gossip Girl. As an added bonus, they form one huge relationship circle as well! Click to see in all its glory.

These people really need to get out more.

This sort of thing is how we end up with lines like the horrible one in last night’s episode: “We’ll find out how we feel at family brunch.” I know Serena and Dan aren’t actually related, but EW. New York is a big city, guys. Explore!


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